I'm BIG on choices. You have the choice to or not to do something. It's really that simple. Self Healing Emporia is a place for all types of healing, this resonated with me for betrayal:
I sat at a table on a blind friend date this summer, set up by a mutual friend who had shared stories of me to which my blind date would say, "I really want to meet her!" I'm old fashioned and met with her on a whim.
She needed some deep advice and I explained how I problem solve with a gift (that's not always glamorous) bestowed upon me. I can take a synopsis and rattle of a number of possible outcomes and solutions and rank all of them with an accurate percentage of probability. It's automatic, it doesn't leave room for ignorance of anything and it has served me well professionally, in life and relationships.
After exchanging a number of personal philosphies, my policy for lying came up. It started with how long ago I had decided to be candid about my opinions and didn't see the point of lying. My kids will even tell you there's only two loop holes: to conceal a surprise or because it's not appropriate to share. Needless to say, it's not something I'm flexible on. I even added that with my previously shared gift, I often will let a liar weave their own web of lies and with the undisputable power of truth I will stick them in it.
She nodded her head, smiled and agreed.
We spent more time together and I put my focus on helping her navigate issues in her personal life. To which she repayed my good deeds by weaving her own web of lies. We know how the rest of this story goes.
I woke up this morning to the dull, persistent calculations in my brain doing its auto-replay. Random sentences from conversations popping up that later became evidence. A necessary part of the deescalation process for me is to let it marinate until gratitude comes from knowing I stayed loyal to my belief in truth.
I've been revamping my phone; cleaning up my emails, addressing the annoying notifications I just never turned off, organizing my website bookmarks and wide variety of apps and programs used for my kids, hobbies, business, etc. I also decided to replace some nuance with inspiration. One app I downloaded to make sure my stepdaughter wouldn't think it was 'lame' was this affirmation app (https://iamaffirmations.app/) I played around with the settings and reminders. I'm having this morning where I've felt it wanting to boil over as if it's my crime to punish instead of letting go for God and this pops up:
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